Saturday, December 30, 2017

One Word 2018


Made with Canva.

I have tried to pick "One Word" to focus my year a few times and to be honest they have not been very effective. I do well for a month or so and then I forget all about my word. Life gets busy and I forget to focus on the big picture and what I want to accomplish. In 2015 my word was Focus and in 2017 my word was Me. I have decided my word for 2018 is Intentional.

The dictionary definition:
Intentional (adj.)
1. Done on purpose, deliberately
2. By concise design of purpose
3. Performed with purpose

I have the habit of getting focused on something and letting it derail me. Usually it is how messy I think my house is or all the school work I feel I need to get done. During 2018 I want to focus on what is truly important: (my spiritual, mental and physical health), my family, my friends and my students/schools and I want to be intentional with my time and energy. I often complain about there not being enough time in a day and although I truly believe life would be easier with a 26 or 28 hour day, but I know it's not going to change. I need to be intentional with my 24 hours.

The book Chop Wood, Carry Water is a fable about being intentional during little tasks. Doing little tasks with great energy and focus. It's the routine decisions everyday that make or break our successes. Being a great mom, wife, person or teacher is not about doing one amazing act. It is about all the little decisions and actions everyday. It's about chopping wood and carrying water.

I have said many times this past year that a calendar is only helpful if I look at it. 2018 is going to be my year of focused and intentional work. I am going to follow the ALBR model that is explained in 'Own Your Future'. Act, Learn, Build, Repeat. Plan, act, learn and repeat. This requires taking the time to plan and then actually following the plan. It is process that starts with being intentional about what I am trying to accomplish.

Players to a safe and happy ending for 2017 and a wonderful beginning to 2018. 

What is your word for 2018?

Friday, December 29, 2017

Paper.lil

I don't know if paper.lil is still the "cool" thing but I started my own paper. I quickly discovered that it is an easy way to stay up to date on news in areas that I care about: education, music and physical education.

I want to share resources and information and I want to stay current in the fields that are important to me. I am striving to share more resources and tools during 2018.
Do you have a paper.lil? Do you follow any papers?

Accepting this Phase

I am in my 9th of teaching. My husband is a teacher/principal and we have two girls under the age of three.

I am not the thought leader of a building, I don't have a TpT store, I don't vlog, I don't have my masters, I have not created a hashtag or started a movement on Twitter, I haven't written a book and no one is calling me to give a keynote. I try to blog because I need to get thoughts out of my head and writing helps me reflect. If I am being honest with myself it is also because I want to feel valued, like I have something to offer.

I am a teacher. I am a parent of young kids who often don't sleep, which means I often don't sleep. As I write this, I am laying on the floor in Kiddo 1's room because she woke up and wanted me to sleep by her (she has a bed but she got a new sleeping bag for Christmas and according to a three year old, you have to use it on the floor.) My girls are more used to mommy at nighttime because daddy was busy for the last two years getting his masters and being a principal. My life is full of laundry, dishes, keeping a house organized, packing lunches and taking care of my family while also trying to be the best teacher I can for my other "kids."

2017 was a year of me coming to terms with this and to be honest I am not all the way there. As an independent person who moved to Alaska for a teaching job on my own, it is hard to accept the fact that my career and opportunities I can take have to fit around my family. It is a hard pill to swallow. My family is in the phase where I have to take on more responsibility at home so my husband can further his career. I know it is a phase but that does not make it easy.

I have two choices. I can accept this reality or I can let it upset me. I have spent most of 2017 (read all of 2017) fighting it and letting it upset me. Letting it get me angry and frustrated. One year of that is enough in my opinion. It is not good for me, my family or anyone who has to be around me. 2018 is the year that I learn to accept the facts. Right now it is my job to take care of my kids and enjoy the cuddles and laughter while they are young. This role doesn't show up on a resume but it is still important. Right now I am "just" a mom and a teacher, but I am going to stride to be the best I can at both of these responsibilities. At times, I feel like a failure for not having a more impressive job but I am slowly learning to accept it. Good thing I have 365 more days to learn.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

My Calling

I am just a music teacher.

I am just a mom.

I am JUST...

What if all I ever am is a teacher?  Am I a failure if I don't become an administrator or a school leader?

I realize how lame these questions sound as I type them but they have been bothering me. What if I am not called to be anything more than a leader of my classroom (aka a teacher)?

When I was in 6th grade I wrote that I would have to loose my mind to go into education. I strongly believe that I have been called into this profession and I believe my life experiences have helped prepare me for teaching. I have to admit it hurts my ego when I hear about others being asked into higher roles. Even if administration is not something I am interested in, part of me feels like I am a failure.

I spend a lot of time and energy keeping my house organized and taking care of stuff for my kids. In the moment, it does not always seem worthwhile. My identity has become wrapped in what I do and that is a very scary place.
I am more than a clean house, a job title or my family. Being intentional about being me is the first journey on my 2018 path.

A New Path

I recently read a tweet and saw a video that have stuck with me.

The tweet: "Greatness does not come without sacrifice."
The video: How would you evaluate your teaching? How would you evaluate your family? Can both receive the top score at the same time?

There is a movement right now called Kids Deserve It. Full disclosure, I have not read the book. I'm sure it is a great book but the name rubs me the wrong way. I truly believe the authors have the best of intentions, but sometimes what I see other's write in response to the moment worries me. Yes, I agree. I think kids deserve it. I have no issues with the idea and I am really not trying to bash them. Many of the teachers seem like amazing teachers, but I do think we have to be careful about the words we use. I also believe my family and I deserve it too. If we are not careful we become martyrs and do things because it is what is "best for kids" while we neglect our own health and families.

This last year has been rough. To say I have not handled it well at times would be an understatement. Leaving a position, moving to another state, interviewing and starting two new schools in the span of 6 weeks all while trying to keep my family safe and thriving has been a challenge. It has been hard! I work at two great schools but meeting the high expectations for myself often comes at a cost. Unfortunately my family and my own health are often the victims.
January 1st offers us a fresh start. A new outlook and hopefully a refreshed mind and body as we enter the second semester in our schools. I have tried to do the One Word project and I am reusing a word I tried a few years ago, intentional. I am going to live my life intentionally. I have spent much of the last six months with my life running me and I disliked every minute of it. Nothing will change if I am not intentional. Instead of resolutions I want plans. How I am going to achieve my dreams is far more important than what I am going to achieve.

Receiving a high score on an evaluation is not worth the sacrifice to my family. I don't know all the answers but I know the path I have been on for the last 6 months is the wrong one. The stress, the sleep deprivation, the anger and the lack of focus is not worth it. There has to be a way to be successful at home and at school. 2018 is my year to be intentional about both areas of my life. My kids in my classroom, my kids at home, my husband, family and friends and myself all deserve it. Here is to 2018! Living intentionally and finding a better path. It's not one or the other. There has to be a way to be healthy, have a strong family and also be a successful teacher. During 2018 it is my mission to figure out how to do this. 

Sunday, December 17, 2017

What Are Your Strengths?

What are your strengths? 
What are you good at? 
How can you help move your classroom/school/district/company forward? 
What values/ideas do you hold dear?
What do you bring to an organization/school?

Many different conversations and thoughts have led to these reflections and it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. What do I bring to a school? What are my strengths? What am I good at? What can I do? What is my philosophy? What is my mission? I don't mean any of these questions to be interview questions. They are intended to be reflections. They are not statements to make me look good or boxes checked on LinkedIn to make me look impressive. These questions are about soul searching. If we are not intentional, we will discover we have been moving the wrong direction and working towards the wrong thing. 

Sometimes during our careers we need to simply have a job. We need to pay our bills. Other times we need to take on positions because our organization needs us to. I have had to do both of these during my career. I look forward to being in a position where I can help move something forward and I can use my strengths for the betterment of the school. 

Anyone can "babysit" kids for a class period and keep them occupied, but what are you bringing to the classroom that will positively impact your students and your school?


Book Review: The No Complaining Rule

The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work


Over Thanksgiving Break I started and finished 'No Complaining Rule' by Jon Gordon. I appreciate books I can read quickly and I love books that have a "simple" message. I know simple is not always easy to implement, but they are easier ideas to digest and hopefully I can implement them quicker.  Change is always a process. This book is set up as a fable, so I found it easier to understand the concepts Gordon is trying to teach. There was one main idea that stood out to me.

I don't like ____, BUT ______.

I found this to be the most powerful idea in the book. When we spew complaints we are venting and not sharing anything positive. The stories we tell ourselves impact how we see the world which in turns impacts how we feel. Just because we don't complain does not mean that everything in our life is going great and that we are happy all the time, but it does mean that we are telling ourselves positive stories. The "I don't like ____, BUT ______" statement let us say our complaint while framing it in a positive way. For example, "I don't like my commute, BUT I am glad I have time to listen to audio books." "I don't like that my children don't sleep through the night, BUT I appreciate the extra cuddles." This tool has been powerful when I remember to use it. These statements allow me to recognize my frustration but also say it in a more positive way. 



Book: The No Complaining Rule

Author: Jon Gordon

Main Message: Complaining creates separation and negative energy. I can still express negative thoughts, but it is about how I frame them and the words I use.


Key Points I Want to Remember: "I don't like ____, BUT ______."


Actions Steps: It takes conscious effort and intentional behavior to make change.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Positive Emails Home

How do you connect with families of your students? As a music teacher, I find it a challenge because I have a large number of students and I see them for such a short period each week. Throughout my career I have found a few tools that really helped me. It always takes me a while to figure out the school culture and what tools will work best at each school. 

I am at two new schools this year and so far I am still in survival mode. Trying to figure out how the schools work and stay on top of my classroom requirements.


  1. Positive emails home are a tool that I used last year. Parents love to see how their kid is doing and to know how things are going. Often they only hear about the rough days. We live in a "no news is good news" world, but sharing positive news makes everyone's day better.
  2. I printed post it notes with a positive message. It was easy to fill out and students could post them to their daily planner so they did not get lost.
Sending home positive notes seems like an extra step and it is, but it can do wonders for students and parents alike. 

Friday, November 24, 2017

Daily Letter


During my two years in Alaska I was able to work with a wonderful primary teacher named Mrs. S. Each day her students would read a letter from the board that she had written to them. It would tell them about her weekend, ask them questions and tell them what they were going to be doing that day. At some point last school year I was reminded of these letters. I had the room in my classroom, so I started writing my class a daily letter. I wrote one letter for each grade. While I only taught three grades at one school and one grade at another it was relatively simple to do. I always ended the letters with love Mrs. Wren because I believe all students should know adults care about them. It became something my students looked forward to. I have also used a grid system, but I needed change and to do something new for a while. This year I teach Preschool through Eighth Grade, so I am still searching for a way to display our daily schedule and outcomes in a small space. I am leaning towards using a computer program.

How do you display your class schedule and outcomes for the day?

Thanksgiving Feast 2017

This year the Lutheran School I work at decided to do a live performance after their Thanksgiving Feast instead of making a video. I was asked to have each grade perform something and they suggested we do something we are doing or have done in class. I am the first "real" music teacher they have had in many many years so I am trying to do different activities to get my middle school kids excited about music. Plus being a percussionist, I have implemented a lot of rhythm activities.

Overall, I was extremely proud of my kids and excited about how they performed. It was my first performance (besides singing at church) at this school and I think it was enjoyed and appreciated. Plus, it laid the ground work for working on new skills and strengthening rhythm and notation reading skills. We are also preparing for our Christmas Concert, so I did not want to teach brand new things. Third Grade did learn a new song, but they are a class that picks up new songs very quickly. 
  • Preschool 
    • A Turkey is a Funny Bird
    • A Pumpkin for the Pie
    • This is the Day
  • Eighth Grade
    • Cup Song (Flash Mob style that they choreographed) 
  • Kindergarten              
    • Bubbling Over
    • My God is So Great
    • Jesus in the Morning 
  • Sixth Grade 
    • Cup Song to Thrive by Counting Crows
  • First Grade                  
    • Rhythms Sticks to God’s Not Dead by Newsboys
  • Fourth Grade              
    • Body Percussion Rondo
  • Second Grade             
    • Sanctuary
    • Days of Elijah
  • Fifth Grade                
    • Bucket Drums to Diamonds by Hawk Nelson
  • Third Grade                 
    • Peaceful (Music K8)
  • Seventh Grade           
    • Bucket Drums to The River by Jordan Feliz

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Isolation

At a Teacher's Conference I attended this year, the keynote said we should not feel isolated because of social media. Social medial allows us to connect with other people and we no longer have to teach on our own little island. Part of me agrees with this and Twitter has saved my teaching career numerous times. Sharing, having conversations and connecting with other teachers has helped me stay away from complete burn out. Not all time on social media is created equal. Not all of is it beneficial and sometimes interactions are shallow or nonexistent. 

Over the past year, I have been struggling with Facebook. I see all the "happy" people with "perfect" lives and it makes me feel like I don't measure up. I don't always feel happy or perfect. However, when it is just the kids and I at home, Facebook is often the only connection that resembles a conversation with an adult. Deep down, I know it is not a real connection, but sometimes it is all I have. I find it to be a touch balance.  I post pictures and random thoughts. In someways I think it is a way to prove to myself that I am relevant. I am not JUST taking care of my kids. I am not JUST a teacher. What I do matters. Part of me is afraid the struggles of everyday life will be a waste. It will all be for nothing.

It's a tough balance. Education experts often say relationships are key and I agree 100 percent. We need to remember this in all aspects of our lives. It is not just in teacher. Relationships all across the board matter. Social media makes communicating easier but I think we need to be careful that is does not become our sole form of communication. It is a balancing act, much like life is in general. 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

I Have a Plan... Not Really

I am a planner. I am not sure when it started, but most of my adult life has included me meticulously planning everything. When I am going to clean, what I am going to do and when I am going to complete tasks.  I like having a plan. I know life does not always follow my plan, but I like to have one none the less. It gives me a feeling of control over my life and the craziness that it often includes.

My kids mock my plans. I mean, not to my face, but I feel like they mock me.  I plan to get up early to have a few hours to work while the rest of the house sleeps and Kiddo 2 wakes up at 5 AM. I decide to stay up late and Kiddo 1 decides to stay up all night.  I love getting up early. I love completing my to do list (or most of it) before 8 AM, but having 2 young kids makes this almost impossible. This desire to plan and keep a schedule and having two young ones who constantly disrupt it, is the biggest challenge for me as a mom. It is a constant source of stress and frustration for me.


How do you deal with it? I consider myself a patient person and I try to go with the flow, but when it comes to my house and schedule at home, I am terrible at it! 

This morning I was getting frustrated with Kiddo 2 who had been fussy for over an hour and would not give in and go back to sleep. The poor kid was not feeling well so I needed to give her a break and relax a bit. I found myself feeling annoyed so I made myself read a Bible Study on my phone. I made myself do something productive. A few weeks ago I had found a Bible Study on the YouVersion Bible App called "Overwhelmed by my Blessings" and it seemed like it was written specifically for me. A few lines from the devotions stood out to me. 

"You're going to have to decide to accept that (the situation) and do the best you can."
Embracing our situations and circumstances is not a one-time event. Life throws us curves each day."
 "Here's the key: we don't receive His grace until we humble ourselves and admit that we can't do it on our own, no matter what 'it" is."

I have been trying so hard to control everything: 2 kids, 4 schedules, 2 schools, a house, private lessons and everything else that comes alone with being a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and human being. Over the past few weeks I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cannot do it one my own. As a person of faith, I need God at the center of my life. I need Bible Study and prayer and time for reflection and meditation. I have been given many reminders of this, but I am a creature of habit (a bad one in this case) and I am slow to change. Change clearly needs to happen. I am tired of running late, be cranky, being angry and stressed. This morning my three year old asked me why I am always angry. That was a punch in the gut and yet another reason to work even harder at making things right.

It is time to try something new. It is time to trust. It is time to stop thinking I can and have to do everything myself. It is a time to make time for what is truly important, which for me is my faith. Being centered in whose I am. It is time for prayer, Bible Study, meditation and reflection. This is my new focus from now until January 1st and then I will reassess on the progress. 


 

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Reflections from a Tired Mom

Sleep deprivation has shown me parts of my personality I have never seen before and parts that frankly, I am not proud of. I get angry and frustrated about little things and I am not always able to stay focused in the moment. Being a mother has also magnified feelings and concepts I have struggled with my whole life. 

I have never been popular and as a kid I always worried about being accepted. Wondered if I was good enough.  I have realized as an adult that I never really out grew these feelings. I learned how to supress them and most of the time they don't bother me, but they are still there. I want help at home but than I feel inadaquete because I was not able to take care of everything by myself. I fear any mistakes at work because they will make me look like I don't have my act together, like I am not good enough at my job, like I can't handle everything. 

Being a mom and a wife has made me confront these issues. I think it is a common mom thing to feel like we have to do everything. I want to be the best mom, wife, housekeeper and professional. All at the same time. As young girls, we are told we can do and have it all. The reality is there are only 24 hours in a day. We are supposed to sleep for 8 and we work for another 8 which leaves us with 8 hours a day for family, friends and self. I don't know about you, but I expect to accomplish way more in that 8 hours than is physically possible. We can have a lot, but sometimes one area has to have lower expectations so we can accel in another area. I really struggle with this concept. 

I just finished listening to the book 'The Wisdom of Sundays' by Oprah Winfrey and one of the points that really stuck out to me was the philosophy that when we are frustrated it is because that issue causes us to feel or think something. It is not about the actual issue, it's how that issue makes us feel. I see this ring true in my life. Often when I am frustrated it is because I am feeling unappreciated. I may get upset because my daughter made a mess or my husband didn't put something away, bit that is not always the full story. 

I don't know what the anewer is but I know there is no magic bullet. I also know that self care is vital for my well being and for those around me. Being a mom and a wife have taught me many lessons. I usually learn them the hard way but I am trying to put these lessons into practice and to not continue making the same mistakes. 

- Write things down, have a system you can trust and do not rely on your brain to remember anything. 

- Look past the frustration or anger and look at the feelings and the why.

- Take control of your schedule (as a mom this has been the biggest struggle for me.)

-Reach out and talk to people. 

-Make time for yourself: pray, read the Bible, read a book, exercise, take a bath, meditate, take a nap. These are not luxuries or a sign of weakness. Take care of yourself! 

- A crazy you makes your world crazy. Control as much as you can and focus on those areas.

- You get what you focus on. 

-You are not your last mistake.

-Focus on gratitude.

-Journal, get your thoughts out of your head.

As much as I hate being told this, it is a phase, it will get better and keep breathing. 

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Other Side of the Table

Since having kids, I have always been interested and slightly worried (ok, very worried) about life on the other side of the table. I am used to being the teacher, now I have to be the parent. I find it is sometimes a hard balance. When I had my first child I was under the delusion that I had years before I would have to be the "parent" at school. I should have listened more closely when people said that the years go fast. Just like that my oldest is in preschool and we have our first round of Parent-Teacher Conferences next week!

Sometimes being a teacher makes having a conversation about my own kids easier. I get it, I live it everyday. Other times, it makes it harder. It's too easy to put myself in their situation and feel frustrated because they did not handle it the way I think they should (read: the "right" way.) My youngest has a milk protein sensitivity. I had no idea what that even meant or that it even existed until she was 5 weeks old. I had heard of being lactose intolerant, but I had never heard of a milk protein sensitivity. Thanks to Dr. Google, I quickly learned what it was and treatment options. In my daughter's case, it is simple. She eats dairy and she gets a rash on her face and has a stomach ache. The treatment is easy too. Don't eat dairy. Easy is relative though. The concept of not eating dairy is easy, the difficulty comes in when I look at food labels and realize that dairy is in a lot. It is in things that seem random (Kroger graham cracker sticks, but not in Kroger graham crackers) and not in things that I think would be logical (it took me 8 months to figure out Oreo Cookies do not contain milk. That was a great day!)

Kiddo 2 started a new daycare around the time she was eating mostly table food. This made her milk protein issue more challenging because she was eating more food. When we were signing her up for daycare, it was always the main point of emphasis. We wanted them to fully understand that she can have NO dairy. This means someone has to read EVERY food label. Her daycare assured us it would not be a problem.

I had a feeling from day one that they did not fully understand the fact that no dairy means no dairy. It does not mean no milk, ranch or cheese. It means no product that is made with milk or milk protein. Kiddo 2 did not seem to have a reaction and because I did not have any evidence (and I hate confrontation), I did not push the issue.  I hate confrontation and I don't want to accuse anyone of not doing their job. A few weeks ago Kiddo 2 managed to grab a few cheese crackers and a few days before that she snuck some cheese pizza. I was notified both times and didn't want to make anyone feel bad, so I did not make a big deal about it. Again, I am a teacher, I know mistakes happen and I know attention gets divided when kids are involved. After the pizza and cheese cracker incidents, Kiddo 2 developed a rash and it has stuck around for weeks. Which was my first piece of evidence that they were giving her food she should not be eating. After a few days of contemplation, I finally built up the nerve to talk to the director who assured me she did not think Kiddo 2 was getting anything with dairy. In my opinion, there are so many things wrong with the statement "I don't think" when it comes to dealing with allergies. I realize my daughter has a mild reaction in comparison to people who have life threatening allergies, but there is no "I think" allowed. Either she is getting food with milk or she is not getting food with milk.  There is no grey area.

This morning I was given my second piece of evidence when I saw  a teacher give her a breakfast bar. I know from experience that most breakfast bars and granola bars contain milk. I can only eat certain brands now and those are usually the expensive organic ones, which I was pretty sure the daycare was not buying. The teacher was extremely apologetic and made it seem like a simple error or not checking the label. I don't want to make anyone feel bad or point out mistakes, but my child cannot continue to be given food that gives her a stomach ache. I wrote about this experience in a short Facebook post and was given some great advice. Thank you Anne and Tori! Now I get to go from parent to teacher mode. I get to teach. I get to education her daycare about milk protein sensitivity and I get to be an advocate for my child. 

It is not easy. These are hard conversations. Being the parent has given me a view from the other side of the table and I see that both sides struggle with similar challenges. I still believe we both want the same thing. We both want the best for our kids and our students. We both want our kids to be successful. My journey to being the parent is just beginning. I have been the teacher for nine years, but this is my first year as a parent. It is a learning process and I know I will make mistakes. The focus needs to stay on our kids.

I want to believe the best of people. I want to believe that they are doing their best at their job and taking care of things. Sometimes it is hard to give this trust, but I find it is easier to believe good things are people. 

Lessons Learned: 
1. Reflect and calm down.
2. Talk it through with other people.
3. Do not let anger get in the way.
4. Do not point blame.
5. Focus on solving the problem.

*Update
My guy instincts were correct and I was presented with a list of thirteen items that my daughter has been getting on a routine basis that contain milk. I was given reasons why food was not checked earlier: they were understaffed and did not have a full time cook and although I don't think either of those reasons are a good excuse, I have tried to take this opportunity to educate others on dairy allergies. 

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Failures in Blogging

I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks freshening up my blog and switching back to Blogger from Weebly (post about that transition to come soon.) As I was setting up my Blogger account I was reading some of my old blog posts. My Blog is a constant reminder of my failures. As a perfectionist, this bothers me.  I have often thought about deleting many posts or deleting the blog all together and starting over. What would that mean though? What would it symbolize.

Over the past six years, I have tried many things: blog challenge, fitness challenges and reading challenges to name a few. I tend to expect too much from myself and my schedule and I end up short on many these challenges. The lessons I have learned from these challenges come from trying and not from always being successful. 

It is hard to be reminded of my failures. Pushing the delete button gets rid of the physical evidence of the failure, but the failure is still there and pretending that I am perfect is not being honest to myself. I have written many lame posts and I have tried to do too much with too little time. It is a process.  It is learning. Seeing many old posts reminds me about where I started and how far I have come.

I think this is why I am so insecure about people I know following me on Twitter or reading my Blog. I worry about saying something stupid and people I actually know seeing it. It is different when a random person sees it, but it becomes personal when it is someone I know. I prefer to live my life in isolation, not open to criticism or opinions. I need to step outside my comfort zone on this one. The first step was simply starting. Now I need to actively share. Master one thing and move on to the next.

What challenges you to step outside your comfort zone?

Professional Google Account

I am currently in my ninth year of teaching and I have taught in 6 different districts (I currently work in two districts and I have relocated states three times.) I love Google tools and I have found them to be very useful during my career. It allows me to work without always having a stable home computer. I have also learned the hard way how time consuming it can be to change documents from one account to another. This is especially true when I have left a district and my account is deleted, so I am on a short time table to get things organized while also dealing with all the normal end of the year tasks.

I have made this mistake twice and I vowed I would never do it again.  This summer I encountered a different problem: my personal Google account was maxed to capacity. This year I found myself once again using my school Google account to organize my files because I did not have room in my personal account. As I brainstormed ways to fix this (I also have the issue of working in a school that is not a Google School this year, which presents is a new challenge), I came up with the idea of creating a new Professional Google account solely to organize my professional documents: pictures, videos, lesson plans and documents.

I was all set to create a new Google Account when I remembered that I still have my old Google Account that is under my maiden name.  I decided to use that account instead of creating a new one.  This account is going to be used solely for professional documents.  This way I do not need to worry about taking up space in my personal account for professional files. Also, I won't have to worry about transferring my files to another account if I were to leave my current school.

Eventually I want to have my blog, YouTube and all teaching files under the same account. It is going to take some time to make that all happen, but I think it will be very helpful to know where all of my teaching files and resources are located. 

How do you keep your files organized? 

Friday, September 29, 2017

Go To Sleep!

Not to be a broken record, but I hate bedtime.  I despise it! It is stressful and makes me feel like an inadequate parent. It is hard and it's a constant battle to stay calm and stay patient. People keep telling me I need to enjoy the snuggles and bedtime stories and I try. I really do, but I just want to sleep.

Lately, I have started going to bed after I get Kiddo 2 to sleep. This allows me to get an hour or so of sleep before Kiddo 1 wakes me up so I can put her to sleep. She has decided that Daddy does not know how to run her feet correctly. I never knew I was a master foot rubber and back scratcher.  Tonight, Kiddo 2 woke up as I was trying to get Kiddo 1 to sleep, so I went and tried to get K2 back to sleep. To my amazement, Kiddo 1 stayed in bed and fell asleep on her own.  Miracles do happen! Kiddo 2 is teething or accidently drank a kid's milk cup at daycare or is having a reaction from pineapple or something. It's not always easy to figure out what is wrong with toddlers. Regardless of the reason, it has caused her to wake up 3 times in 4 hours. So my dislike of bedtime was multiplied tonight. 

I know I should treasure these moments when my kids snuggle up with me and when Kiddo 1 tells me she loves me way much as I rub her back. I know these moments are going to be gone before I know it. I know one day they will not want to sit in my lap or give me hugs or want me to touch them. One day, oh, one day they will fall asleep on their own. One day I will get sleep again. I know all of this, but it is so hard to enjoy the moment. It is hard to enjoy the snuggles and not resent the fact that I just want to sleep for more than three hours at a time. It is hard to enjoy the bedtime stories when I just want to have time to myself or clean the house or get work done. It is just hard! Instead of focusing and treasuring these moments, I let my frustration distract me.

How often do we as teachers do this in the classroom? How many moments do we miss in the classroom because we let our frustration get in the way? Why do I have to remind a student to get in line quietly, be kind to their classmates or stay in their spot? Why didn't they listen the first time I gave the direction or explained the project? Why...? I should be focusing on these moments with my students instead of letting my frustration steal my time with them. As a music and PE teacher, I only see my students 1-2 days a week. Our time together is short and the school year goes by quickly.

Today at the Keynote for the Indiana District Teachers Conference, George Couros said that your everyday is your legacy. Everyday we are building memories with our students and our families. What do you want to remember? The nights of frustration because your kids won't sleep or the goofy moments reading books and the sweet moments of snuggles? The light bulb moments when things click for your students, the acts of kindness or the everyday frustrations? I know what I want to remember. I don't think there are many who want to remember the frustrations.

It is a process. It is a struggle. Everyday and every night, I am going to be intentional about enjoying the moment with my kids and my students. They deserve it and I deserve it.

Action Steps (These are steps I have found useful to help me stay in the moment and enjoy the little moments with my kids and students.

1. Breathe: I hate when people close to me tell me to just breathe, but it really does help.

2. Pray: Prayer helps me stay in the moment.  Plus it gives me something to do besides have angry conversations in my head.

3. Put my phone away.

4.  Smile and be present.



Friday, September 22, 2017

Teaching Goals 2017-2018

Since reading 'Burn Your Goals' by Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert, I have tried to limit my use of the word Goals. In theory, they are a good idea, but I am more focused on how I am going to make them happen. This year I am teaching at 2 schools, a Catholic School and a Lutheran School. For the first time in my teaching career, I had to create goals for the school year. Each school uses different criteria so I have slightly different goals for each school.

What are your goals this year? How are you going to ensure that you have the tools in place to achieve them?

Lutheran School
Create unit assessments and self assessments using Google Forms for all 10 Physical Education Units and use this information to give students specific feedback about their progress.

Strengthen parent communication. Post to Bloomz weekly and send home a monthly newsletter.

Catholic School
Domain 1: Purposeful Planning
1.3 – Develop Standards-Based Unit Plans and Assessments
1.4 – Create Objective-Driven Lesson Plans and Assessments

I will create five Unit plans and assessments that are objective driven and based on standards for each grade.

Domain 2: Effective Instruction
2.8 Create Classroom Culture of Respect and Collaboration
2.9 Set High Expectations for Academic Success

Expectations will be posted and reviewed weekly. Student choice will be incorporated into at least one lesson per a month for grades 5th-8th.

Domain 4: Catholic Identity
4.5 Participate in Prayer and Support of Vision and Mission Statement of the School

I will participate in daily classroom and individual prayer and read through the entire Bible this school year.


Magic Bullet

I have always had a fascination with researching and organizing fitness plans. The problem is I spend hours researching the "best" workouts and rarely find time to complete the workouts. One things I have learned is that the best workout plan will not produce results unless I actually complete the program. I would love to spend an hour a day working out, but it is just not possible right now.

As I was doing work on this blog, I was reminded about my previous run streaks. I miss the routine of running everyday and I have decided to start a new Run Streak. Fitness has to be easy or I will not do it. Life is too busy right now with everything else that is going on. So, I am keeping it simple. Run everyday (at least a mile) and add some strength exercises. I am trying to use our treadmill more while we spent money on it and have been doing intervals and using the incline.

Monday - Upper Body
Tuesday - Abdominals
Wednesday - Lower Body
Thursday - Upper Body
Friday - Abdominals 
Saturday - Lower Body
Sunday - Rest (Softball for the month of September)

There is no magic bullet.  Consistency and effort while working on correct skills lead to success. Last year my district had the Quaver Curriculum. I enjoyed using the curriculum and it worked well in the setting I was in. This year I have made the transition to 'The First Steps of Music' with my younger students and project based activities with my older students. This curriculum works better given the schedule constraints of my current schools. Each situation is unique and lends itself to different curriculum structures.

Physical Education Lesson Plans

Last school year I discovered the magic of automatic lesson plans using Google Forms.  Thanks to Matt from Ditch that Textbook! I set it up and was excited to use it but it not work with the way my schedule worked and my school was going to implement Plan Book so I tried that program. This summer my family relocated and I am now teaching K-4 Physical Education and K-8 Music at a Lutheran School and K-8 Music at a Catholic School.

I decided to try using Google Forms for my PE lesson plans and so far I am very happy with it. I followed the directions from Matt to set up the Google Form.  The only issue I am currently having is that my forms won't correctly name the file.  Other than that I am very happy with this tool for lesson planning. It is quick, easy and useful. I am still figuring out how to setup a form to use for music lesson plans. 

I Have a Choice


We just finished our fifth week of school.  The honeymoon phase is officially over. Limit testing is in full swing and I have been having conversations with my students about their choices. When I talk to a student about their behavior, one response that always bothers me is, "but Mrs. Wren, s/he _____." A bad choice is a bad choice. The circumstances behind the choice are usually not very important, at least not to me. It does not matter if a kid pushed another kid because they were mad, the bottom line is that they pushed someone and that behavior is wrong. 

As a teacher and parent, it is easy to look at a student or Kiddo 1 and tell them that their behavior was wrong regardless of the circumstances, but man is it hard to look in the mirror and say the same thing. I have gotten really good at making excuses for my anger and yelling. I can convince myself my behavior is justified.  The justification almost always revolves around sleep deprivation. Kiddo 1 was up late or Kiddo 2 was up multiple times to eat.

I know sleep deprivation is a really issue and we are trying to deal with the sleep issues but in the mean time, I have a choice to make. I can continue to let it control my behavior or I can work to control my behavior regardless of how much sleep I got or did not get the night before.  My softball coach in college used to always say we can control two things: our effort and our attitude. Once again those lessons on the field are relevant in the real world. I can control my attitude or I can let sleep deprivation control it for me.

The same is true in classroom. I can let my frustrations control my attitude or I can be the type of teacher/person I want to be regardless of what is going on around me. This is no easy task! Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert of Train2BClutch have an entire business entity around the philosophy of treating others well and doing your best regardless of your circumstances.

I am tired! I am also tired of behaving in the same ways and it is time to change my behavior and control my attitude. Sleep deprivation is a convenient excuse, but it does not limit the damage that yelling and being rude can have on my family and my own mental health.

We make thousands of choices every day.  Are you going to let your circumstance influence your behavior or are you going to act lovingly and respectful regardless of your circumstance? As my principal says at the closing of daily announcements, have a good day or a bad day, the choice is yours.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

A New Way to Do Things

Since I became a Mom three years ago, I have struggled with feeling like I can't do everything at the level I would like.  If I am the teacher I want to be, I feel like I am failing my family and when I am spending time with my family, I feel like I am failing my students.  There are simply not enough hours in a day. The other night I tweeted out a question: Can I be a good teaching only working 7:30-4?  I have only been a mom for three years which means I still remember being able to stay at school late most nights and going in on weekends.  During the no kid time in my life, that schedule was manageable, but it is no longer is possible. 

A few people responded to my tweet and the overall consensus was that I worked too much before kids and it is possible to still be a good teacher and not work crazy hours. One person did say that it is not possible to be a good teacher without working crazy hours. I know work life balance is a struggle for many people.

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be the teacher I was before I had kids.  I have time to dedicate towards working on school projects that is not taken up by family. I am trying to find ways to be more efficient with my time and to spend my time doing truly valuable projects. One issue that compounds the lack of time for me, is lack of sleep.  I have young children, who do not always sleep when I want them to.  Lack of sleep and lack of uninterrupted time makes getting work done more difficult. 

This school year I am focusing on creating systems to help me get work done more efficiently and to make time for myself, so can be the best for those around me. I may not be able to stay after school until late, but I can use the time I do have more effectively by having an organized list of tasks to accomplish. I am also learning to prioritize tasks for when my kids are awake and when they are sleeping. It is a work in progress. 

How do you balance life and work?



Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Third Grade Computers

This spring I volunteered to organize curriculum for Third Grade Computers.  My district does not have a computer teacher at the elementary level and the new schedule setup includes greater computer lab time for each class. I taught computers at a previous school and I enjoy building websites, so I volunteered to set everything up for the classroom teachers.  

In May, my husband accepted a new position which requires our family to relocate this summer. I did not want to go back on my word, so I made time to start building a website for 3rd Grade Computers.  It is not completely done yet, but I had a lot of fun creating it and I hope it is something my former coworkers and other teachers find helpful. Right now I prefer Weebly for building websites.  I have used it for my personal website/blog and for my other class websites.  I know Google Sites recently came out with an update but I have not had time to explore the new setup.  I would love to hear your thoughts on the new Google Sites.

Students have computers every other day throughout the school year.  I tried to setup the website so the classroom teachers who teach the class could pick and choose and do things the way they think will work best.  The general idea is to do keyboarding and blogging on a regular basis with other projects: Digital Citizenship/Media Literacy, Google Slides, Google Sheets, Google Sites, Google Maps, Coding and Games.

Third Grade Computers

Mama, Why You Upset?

The other day while in the car I was talking to myself and fuming about something. I honestly don't even remember what I was upset up.  In the grand scheme of life it was small and inconsequential, but in the moment I made it into a life altering issue. Then a small voice from the back seat made me aware of the errors of my way.

"Mama, Why you upset?

Simple question right.  There are so many simple answers: my phone is going to die, we are late again, I'm tired, someone is being a bad driver, someone was rude, the plane is late, traffic is a mess.... My exact reason for being upset in that moment escapes me (clearly it was life altering and important). 

"Mama, Why you upset?

In that moment I realized that I did not want to admit to my three year old (or to myself really) why I was upset.  I have clean drinking water, I am safe, I live in a land of freedoms and opportunities, I have a caring family, I have healthy children who are growing and learning, I have a supportive husband who puts up with me, I have wonderful friends who are always there, I have access to books/YouTube and endless learning opportunities and I have my faith.  In the grand scheme of things, those are far more important than my phone battery being dead or my computer not working quickly enough or Kiddo 1 not going to bed when I when I want her to.

Lately I've been an emotional mess. Sleep deprivation has really taken its toll. Having two young kids who do not always sleep well has really messed with my schedule. For the first time in a year, my husband and I went golfing. It was four hours away from my kids and although I truly love them it was amazing! I left the house that morning cranky because once again we were running late (which I feel we always are), but I came home from the course smiling and a good mood. 

What changed? I didn't get anymore sleep. I had some free time which helped me relax, but at the core, nothing was really different.  My outlook changed.  My perspective changed. One speaker I listened to lately made a great point when he explained how reality is the story we tell ourselves. What we perceive becomes our reality, but we can change what we see and the stories we tell ourselves.

Emotions can be fickle. I've heard many speakers say you should not live based on how you feel in a given moment. The theory seems sound but it can be such a struggle. When I feel angry I want to be angry. I don't want to remind myself that everything is okay and I just need to relax. It's so easy to get sucked into that emotional place and live in the emotion of the moment. Today was a great reminder that living life this way is not the most beneficial. No one wants to have a boss who is only nice when the business is doing well, or a spouse who is only kind when they are happy or a person who is only kind when things are going well. The same is true for our emotions.  I will not always feel like doing something or being a certain way, but being controlled by my feelings and emotions is not a stable way to live a life.

"Mama, Why you upset?

I don't want to answer this question from my three year old with because my phone is dead.  My energy is better used for beneficial outcomes. 

Remembering Mrs. Northcutt


Last summer one of my coworkers passed away after battling cancer.  I had the pleasure of working with Mrs. Northcutt for one year.  Her smile filled a room and she was a great balance of positive energy while still staying real.  She cared deeply for her students, coworkers and family and her decisions always focused back to those groups of people.  In the year since her passing, it has become even more evident that she left a huge impact on those around her. The memorials and activities in her memory show her lasting legacy.

One thing that she wanted was a Buddy Bench for the playground.  This spring a Buddy Bench and a rock with her name were installed at the Dillon Playground.  The morning of the dedication was rainy, but many people braved the weather to remember Mrs. Northcutt.  One of my favorite stories from the dedication was one told by our principal.  The bench and rock had been installed a week prior to the dedication and some students had started placing dandelions on the rock. At first a few teachers thought the students were being disrespectful, but soon we all realized that this was the way these students were paying respect to their former teacher.

I have heard many Life Coaches say you should write your own obituary.  What do you want people to say?  What do you want people to remember.  These are the things we should be focusing on everyday. These are the things that really matter. Mrs. Northcutt was and is a great reminder that relationships are what matter.  That is her legacy.

No More Band-Aids

Over Spring Break this year I planned a night away at a hotel for my husband and I.  It was partly a graduation present to him for finishing his masters, but selfishly it was also a present for myself.  I needed sleep! (I still need sleep!) Since Kiddo 2 was born last August, it has been a jumble of night feedings, late nights and early mornings.  If Eight Hours of Sleep were on my To Do List, it has not been checked off in months.  I never realized how important sleep is until I was not getting quality or quantity sleep. I now understand why sleep deprivation is a torture technique.

For one night we got to be childless.  Kids were safely dropped off at my parents house.  We got to go out to eat at non-child friendly places.  I got to eat my food hot (I never realized how big of a deal this is until I had kids) and I did not have to leave to take a toddler for a break. Plus, the best part... I got to sleep.  8+ glorious hours.  I didn't have to wake up for crying and there was no toddler crawling into my bed at 3 AM.  It was wonderful! 

These two days away were great, but I realized after being back in my "real" life that this trip away was just a band-aid.  It did not really fix anything.  It was necessary, it helped and I got the necessary sleep for one night, but it did not fix my problem of not getting enough sleep.  Breaks like these only fix things if they are routine and my bank account cannot afford for me to spend a night at a hotel weekly or monthly.  Like most parents with young kids, sleep is at a premium in my house.  This night of sleep was needed, but it did not fix the fact that I went back to a house with two young kids and a schedule that does not allow me much sleep.  The real solution is fixing the schedule and that is far more complicated.

I realized we/I do this in other areas of life.  How often do we put a band-aid on something instead of really taking time to fix the issue?  Changing jobs instead of fixing a relationship or breaking off a friendship instead of fixing the relationship.  The list could go on and on.  We hide from the real issue in favor of covering it up with a band-aid.  Band-aids are usually less painful and they are easier.

Truly fixing things is complex, it takes time and energy.  First you have to get a clear diagnosis of the complete problem.  In the case of my lack of sleep, it is impacted by many different issues.  Mainly the fact that my children do not routinely (or in the case of Kiddo 2 never) sleep through the night or go to bed "early".  The reasons why both of these happen are numerous and both have their own issues that impact them.  None of this is simple to figure out or fix. A night away is a quick and easy band-aid solution for the problem. It does not change the overall situation though.

Band-aids are helpful and necessary sometimes, but it is vital that we look past the quick solution and focus on the core issues.  What band-aids are in your life?  The big one in my life right now (besides sleep) is my issue with Facebook (post about my thoughts on this coming soon).  My solution at the moment is to deactivate my account.  This is a band-aid though and does not truly solve the underlying issues.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Missing Out

It has been a slow process but I have finally learned a life changing lesson.  
I will always be missing out on something.
Due to my husband's work schedule and his Masters Program, taking care of the kiddos and our house has mostly fallen onto my shoulders.  A few weeks ago he offered to take Kiddo 1 to the Children's Museum, but we had not been there before and I did not want to miss that experience with her. Everyday it feels like I have to choose between spending time with my family and getting school work done.  At the end of the day, I don't want to miss experiences and memories with my kids. So, I pile more things on my plate and I sacrifice sleep in an attempt to get everything done.  For months now, I was convinced that if I just figured out how to do this working mom thing better my life would be easier.  I just needed to figure out a better schedule or be more organized or not sleep as much.  Last night was a moment of clarity for me.
I will always be missing out on something.
Once again (for the third night this week), my husband had a school event, so entertaining the kiddos was all on me.  At times I feel jealous that he gets to be out of the house.  I know he has work, but sometimes I would love to have time to get work done and not feel rushed or be on a time limit. For me, time to get work done and not feel rushed is fleeting and I envy that he has so much more of it than I do.

Last night was honestly one of the best Friday nights I remember in a long time.  Pick up did not go as quickly as I would have liked so we scratched going to the library and headed straight home.  Kiddo 1 and I started our Friday Fun by making a blanket tent in the play room. We have made tents in living room and in her bedroom, but never in this location.  It was something new and fun and she was very excited about it. She loved clipping the clothes pins everywhere. We made homemade pizza for dinner and Kiddo 1 had a blast putting hand fulls of cheese on her pizza and spicies (pepperoni) on mine. After dinner we made popcorn and she insisted on putting the corn into the popper by the handful.  We played Disney Yahtzee and ate our popcorn inside the tent. I was impressed she lasted twenty minutes playing a board game.  We "played" with Kiddo 2, called Nanna, had ice cream for snack, watched Tube (YouTube) and went to bed without much of a fight.  Kiddos and I were all asleep by the time my husband got home.

I know there is nothing special about any of these activities, but they are wonderful memories that I have with my kids.  I have these memories and my husband misses out because he is at work.  Yes, there are times I would love to be in my classroom working or to go grocery shopping without wrangling 2 kids, but last night showed me that these moments are important. 
 I will always be missing out on something.
Sleep, time for myself, time for my family, time to get work done or time to clean.  Something will always be left undone.  It's up to me to pick which tasks get my energy.  There will always be something left on my list.  I will never be completely done.
I will always be missing out on something.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Dreams

I recently finished the book 'The Magnolia Story' by Chip and JoAnna Gaines.  One things that the authors talk a lot about is how they would spend time dreaming.  They dreamed about what their life would look like, what their business would look like and what they wanted to do with their life.  They dreamed all the time.  In many ways it sounded like visualization and I know from listening to the work by Joshua Medcalf (T2BClutch) that this can be a powerful tool. Sometimes I just need a kick in the butt or a gentle reminder about a tool or idea.  Reading this book gave me that gentle reminder.  I also realized that I spend so much time trying to survive the day that I don't spend enough time dreaming about life.  I am trying to dream more. Trying to be intentional.  When I dream about my life it is split into three categories: Family/Friends, Professional and Personal. 

I dream about ...

Family/Friends

  • Being a happy person; smiling and full of positive energy.
  • Being filled with beneficial self talk.
  • Having strong relationships with my closest friends.
  • Having strong relationships with my family.
  • Being intentional with my words and actions.
  • Being a spiritual person and spending time in Bible Study and Prayer.
Professional
  • Having a positive impact on my students.
  • Leading by example.
  • Feeling organized.
  • Being happy and sharing the joy of music with the school/community.
Personal
  • Reading books.
  • Learning something new everyday and getting better.
  • Being Happy.
  • Finding peace in the balance between home and work and self.
I am a firm believer that we need to be intentional with our thoughts and words. Days go by fast and without being intentional, we risk loosing time and wondering where the days went.

When is the last time you dreamed about your classroom or life?


Thank You Kiddo 1!

I have been cranky lately. Little things are bothering me more and I have to admit I am not always the best company for my family. I feel stressed, overwhelmed and tired more than I ever remember. After talking to coworkers and friends,  I now know I am not alone. It took me a while to stop feeling like a failure (those feelings still come back some days). The guilt of not feeling good enough is a real struggle. I am slowly accepting the fact that these feelings are normal. Young kids make life wonderful but they also make things more challenging. Simply knowing that others struggle with the same challenges does not always make it easier.  I do like knowing that I am not alone. 
This morning Kiddo 1 asked me to workout. I am sleep deprived and did not feel like doing much more than laying on the couch. Kiddo 1 would not quit. Someday I will learn to appreciate this qualitiy. Finally I told her we would go on a walk. My husband decided to join us and we made it a family activity. She walked a bit, wanted me to carry her, went on my shoulders, had her daddy carry her and sat in the stroller with her sister. 

After walking for about 20 minutes she decided she wanted to run. I started the walk feeling cranky and I finished our 45 minute walk/run with a smile on my face and feeling better about things. Thank you Kiddo 1 for "making" me go on a walk. Thank you for reminding me of the joy of running. These moments with my kids are ones I will always remember and they fill my heart with joy. I am excited to have a new running partner and I am thankful that Kiddo 1 does her best to help me start kind, thankful, focused and in shape. 

What I Know for Sure

I started reading 'What I Know for Sure' by Oprah Winfrey and it made me start thinking about what I know.  I am in a phase of life where I am learning new things. As a new mom, I am trying to learn everything I can in order to help make my life and the life for my family better.  I am only a chapter into this book, but I am already thinking; 

What do I know for sure...
  • My faith is extremely important, but I do not make time for it like I should.
  • My family is the most important thing in my life.
  • Teaching is stressful, but I cannot imagine doing anything else.
  • My students give me energy and fill me with joy (most days).
  • Watching kids learn (my own and my students) is a wonderful experience and I feel honored to be a part of it.
  • The world is full of hate, but most people are filled with good.
  • Everyone deserves respect.
  • You are more than your job.
  • Life is hard.
  • Many people are just trying to survive the day (I find myself part of this group often).
  • Negatives usually feel worse than they are.
  • Treating people kindly goes a long way.
  • Reading is one of the best ways to spend my time.
  • Treasure moments.
What do you know for sure?