Wednesday, June 28, 2017

No More Band-Aids

Over Spring Break this year I planned a night away at a hotel for my husband and I.  It was partly a graduation present to him for finishing his masters, but selfishly it was also a present for myself.  I needed sleep! (I still need sleep!) Since Kiddo 2 was born last August, it has been a jumble of night feedings, late nights and early mornings.  If Eight Hours of Sleep were on my To Do List, it has not been checked off in months.  I never realized how important sleep is until I was not getting quality or quantity sleep. I now understand why sleep deprivation is a torture technique.

For one night we got to be childless.  Kids were safely dropped off at my parents house.  We got to go out to eat at non-child friendly places.  I got to eat my food hot (I never realized how big of a deal this is until I had kids) and I did not have to leave to take a toddler for a break. Plus, the best part... I got to sleep.  8+ glorious hours.  I didn't have to wake up for crying and there was no toddler crawling into my bed at 3 AM.  It was wonderful! 

These two days away were great, but I realized after being back in my "real" life that this trip away was just a band-aid.  It did not really fix anything.  It was necessary, it helped and I got the necessary sleep for one night, but it did not fix my problem of not getting enough sleep.  Breaks like these only fix things if they are routine and my bank account cannot afford for me to spend a night at a hotel weekly or monthly.  Like most parents with young kids, sleep is at a premium in my house.  This night of sleep was needed, but it did not fix the fact that I went back to a house with two young kids and a schedule that does not allow me much sleep.  The real solution is fixing the schedule and that is far more complicated.

I realized we/I do this in other areas of life.  How often do we put a band-aid on something instead of really taking time to fix the issue?  Changing jobs instead of fixing a relationship or breaking off a friendship instead of fixing the relationship.  The list could go on and on.  We hide from the real issue in favor of covering it up with a band-aid.  Band-aids are usually less painful and they are easier.

Truly fixing things is complex, it takes time and energy.  First you have to get a clear diagnosis of the complete problem.  In the case of my lack of sleep, it is impacted by many different issues.  Mainly the fact that my children do not routinely (or in the case of Kiddo 2 never) sleep through the night or go to bed "early".  The reasons why both of these happen are numerous and both have their own issues that impact them.  None of this is simple to figure out or fix. A night away is a quick and easy band-aid solution for the problem. It does not change the overall situation though.

Band-aids are helpful and necessary sometimes, but it is vital that we look past the quick solution and focus on the core issues.  What band-aids are in your life?  The big one in my life right now (besides sleep) is my issue with Facebook (post about my thoughts on this coming soon).  My solution at the moment is to deactivate my account.  This is a band-aid though and does not truly solve the underlying issues.

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