I am not a big present person. For my birthday, I prefer my husband to write a thoughtful card. Planning dinner or something like that would be a bonus. My husband and I were discussing last night how in many ways our idea of celebrating our birthdays goes against the "norm" and it made me think about why I want to celebrate the way I do. What I came up with is that it is all about feeling important, which is the same for everyone I think. Presents make us feel special and important and in American Culture we only buy presents for those we care about. We spend energy and time on what is important to us and often we are too busy on a daily basis to show this attention and energy to people. In my opinion Birthdays and Holidays are a chance to fix this.
In my experience buying a gift require someone to tell you what they want and going and purchasing that item. There is not always a lot of thought put into this. I have always been someone who appreciates a letter or heart felt message and I think that is why I prefer this item over a gift. A heart felt message is not something anyone else can do for you and it takes time, thought and energy. I prefer words to express my feelings than gifts. There is nothing wrong with either way.
In the end, I came to the conclusion that birthdays are a day where we want to be reminded that we are important to someone. Life is busy and full of chores and responsibilities. Birthdays are our chance every 365 days to be the focal point and to put our energy and time towards people instead of responsibilities. I believe this is why wives get upset with husbands when special days are forgotten. These special days put the focus on something other than to do lists and responsibilities.
Like most things in life, this conversation led me back to my students. I believe we all have this desire to feel important, wanted and cared about. How do we make sure our students (family and friends) feel this way everyday and not just on their birthday? Treating people very well regardless of the situation is one of my missions for this school year and my life in general.
Thank you for reading.
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