How Are You?

How are you?

How often are you asked this a day?  How many times do you ask someone else?  How do you answer?

I'm ok.
I'm fine.
I'm tired.

Those seem to be my standard responses.  What does fine mean? What does ok mean?  Do we really mean what we say?

Over the course of my marriage I have had to learn that when my husband says fine, it is not how I would use the word.  I used to get upset because I would ask him how dinner was and he would say fine.  To him, that means good.  To me, it means it was nothing special.  It was tolerable, not terrible, but not great. To him, fine and good all mean the same thing.  

We often say we are ok when we are not.  Why can't we be honest?  Why don't we take time to express how we are feeling? I know we don't have time for counseling sessions every time someone asks us how we are, but I wish we could be honest with ourselves and those around us when things are challenging.  This also means we can be more jubilant when things are going well.  

This goes against what seems to be social norms, but I see it as a challenge.  Be more open when things are both challenging and joyous.  There are benefits to not letting the roller coaster of life get to me, but I don't think saying life is OK everyday time when it is not is healthy.  We need to build relationships and look out for those around us.  We all face challenges and saying we are fine when we are not hides challenges which can make people feel alone.  We are all in this together and we all face challenges.

How are you today?  Is how you answered the truth?