The Best Observation!

Two weeks ago I had one of the best observations ever!  Now, you may be thinking that is was great because I was rated highly and everything went smoothly.  Both of those are completely wrong.  The two classes were a challenge and I felt like a terrible teacher for most of it.  How could this possibly be my best observation?  I call it my best observation because I actually learned from the experience and the person who observed me helped me make a plan to improve.

This year has been a struggle. I don't remember a year where I have doubted myself as much as I have this year.  I am adjusting to a new school, a new district, a new job, a new commute, a new curriculum, new students, new administrators and trying to balance my professional responsibilities along with being a mom, wife and friend.  It's been hard.  Some days I feel great and others I am just hoping I can make it through (preferably without crying in front of anyone.)

I mentioned to the other music teacher in my district that I am struggling with two classes at my one building and he offered to come observe me.  It was embarrassing (feeling incompetent is not fun), it was hard, but I learned so much and I feel blessed that he took the time to come help.  It was not about a grade on an evaluation.  It was not about writing down everything I was doing wrong.  It was not about catching my mistakes.  It was not about justifying why I did what I did.  It was about learning, sharing ideas, sharing experiences and making a plan to grow and get better.  How often do your evaluations end like this?  

Having someone help me create a plan was vital.  When I am struggling I get into a negative mental loop and soon it seems everything is hopeless and impossible.  Having another person see the problems and brainstorm solutions allowed me to see the possible solutions and believe that things were truly fixable. 

I understand we need evaluations and we need a way to weed out 'bad' teachers, but where is the learning when you fill in boxes saying you did this, this and this?  I would love to see evaluations that are meant to help teachers grown and not just tell them everything they did not score well on.  Yes, there are some bad teachers out there, but I also believe there are many who simply need guidance and help in order to become great.

Thank you Mr. O'Donnell for taking the time to observe me.  It was a painful experience, but one I am growing from.  I am thankful for your time!