Positive Emails Home

How do you connect with families of your students? As a music teacher, I find it a challenge because I have a large number of students and I see them for such a short period each week. Throughout my career I have found a few tools that really helped me. It always takes me a while to figure out the school culture and what tools will work best at each school. 

I am at two new schools this year and so far I am still in survival mode. Trying to figure out how the schools work and stay on top of my classroom requirements.

1. Positive emails home are a tool that I used last year. Parents love to see how their kid is doing and to know how things are going. Often they only hear about the rough days. We live in a "no news is good news" world, but sharing positive news makes everyone's day better.
   
2. I printed post it notes with a positive message. It was easy to fill out and students could post them to their daily planner so they did not get lost.

Sending home positive notes seems like an extra step and it is, but it can do wonders for students and parents alike. 

Daily Letter

During my two years in Alaska I was able to work with a wonderful primary teacher named Mrs. S. Each day her students would read a letter from the board that she had written to them. It would tell them about her weekend, ask them questions and tell them what they were going to be doing that day. At some point last school year I was reminded of these letters. I had the room in my classroom, so I started writing my class a daily letter. I wrote one letter for each grade. While I only taught three grades at one school and one grade at another it was relatively simple to do. I always ended the letters with love Mrs. Wren because I believe all students should know adults care about them. It became something my students looked forward to. I have also used a grid system, but I needed change and to do something new for a while. This year I teach Preschool through Eighth Grade, so I am still searching for a way to display our daily schedule and outcomes in a small space. I am leaning towards using a computer program.

How do you display your class schedule and outcomes for the day?

Thanksgiving Feast 2017

This year the Lutheran School I work at decided to do a live performance after their Thanksgiving Feast instead of making a video. I was asked to have each grade perform something and they suggested we do something we are doing or have done in class. I am the first "real" music teacher they have had in many many years so I am trying to do different activities to get my middle school kids excited about music. Plus being a percussionist, I have implemented a lot of rhythm activities.

Overall, I was extremely proud of my kids and excited about how they performed. It was my first performance (besides singing at church) at this school and I think it was enjoyed and appreciated. Plus, it laid the ground work for working on new skills and strengthening rhythm and notation reading skills. We are also preparing for our Christmas Concert, so I did not want to teach brand new things. Third Grade did learn a new song, but they are a class that picks up new songs very quickly. 

• Preschool 
• A Turkey is a Funny Bird
• A Pumpkin for the Pie
• This is the Day

• Eighth Grade
• Cup Song (Flash Mob style that they choreographed) 

• Kindergarten              
• Bubbling Over
• My God is So Great
• Jesus in the Morning 

• Sixth Grade 
• Cup Song to Thrive by Counting Crows

• First Grade                  
• Rhythms Sticks to God’s Not Dead by Newsboys

• Fourth Grade              
• Body Percussion Rondo

• Second Grade             
• Sanctuary
• Days of Elijah

• Fifth Grade                
• Bucket Drums to Diamonds by Hawk Nelson

• Third Grade                 
• Peaceful (Music K8)

• Seventh Grade           
• Bucket Drums to The River by Jordan Feliz

Isolation

At a Teacher's Conference I attended this year, the keynote said we should not feel isolated because of social media. Social medial allows us to connect with other people and we no longer have to teach on our own little island. Part of me agrees with this and Twitter has saved my teaching career numerous times. Sharing, having conversations and connecting with other teachers has helped me stay away from complete burn out. Not all time on social media is created equal. Not all of is it beneficial and sometimes interactions are shallow or nonexistent. 

Over the past year, I have been struggling with Facebook. I see all the "happy" people with "perfect" lives and it makes me feel like I don't measure up. I don't always feel happy or perfect. However, when it is just the kids and I at home, Facebook is often the only connection that resembles a conversation with an adult. Deep down, I know it is not a real connection, but sometimes it is all I have. I find it to be a touch balance.  I post pictures and random thoughts. In someways I think it is a way to prove to myself that I am relevant. I am not JUST taking care of my kids. I am not JUST a teacher. What I do matters. Part of me is afraid the struggles of everyday life will be a waste. It will all be for nothing.

It's a tough balance. Education experts often say relationships are key and I agree 100 percent. We need to remember this in all aspects of our lives. It is not just in teacher. Relationships all across the board matter. Social media makes communicating easier but I think we need to be careful that is does not become our sole form of communication. It is a balancing act, much like life is in general. 

I Have a Plan... Not Really

I am a planner. I am not sure when it started, but most of my adult life has included me meticulously planning everything. When I am going to clean, what I am going to do and when I am going to complete tasks.  I like having a plan. I know life does not always follow my plan, but I like to have one none the less. It gives me a feeling of control over my life and the craziness that it often includes.

My kids mock my plans. I mean, not to my face, but I feel like they mock me.  I plan to get up early to have a few hours to work while the rest of the house sleeps and Kiddo 2 wakes up at 5 AM. I decide to stay up late and Kiddo 1 decides to stay up all night.  I love getting up early. I love completing my to do list (or most of it) before 8 AM, but having 2 young kids makes this almost impossible. This desire to plan and keep a schedule and having two young ones who constantly disrupt it, is the biggest challenge for me as a mom. It is a constant source of stress and frustration for me.

How do you deal with it? I consider myself a patient person and I try to go with the flow, but when it comes to my house and schedule at home, I am terrible at it! 

This morning I was getting frustrated with Kiddo 2 who had been fussy for over an hour and would not give in and go back to sleep. The poor kid was not feeling well so I needed to give her a break and relax a bit. I found myself feeling annoyed so I made myself read a Bible Study on my phone. I made myself do something productive. A few weeks ago I had found a Bible Study on the YouVersion Bible App called "Overwhelmed by my Blessings" and it seemed like it was written specifically for me. A few lines from the devotions stood out to me. 

"You're going to have to decide to accept that (the situation) and do the best you can."

Embracing our situations and circumstances is not a one-time event. Life throws us curves each day."

 "Here's the key: we don't receive His grace until we humble ourselves and admit that we can't do it on our own, no matter what 'it" is."

I have been trying so hard to control everything: 2 kids, 4 schedules, 2 schools, a house, private lessons and everything else that comes alone with being a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and human being. Over the past few weeks I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cannot do it one my own. As a person of faith, I need God at the center of my life. I need Bible Study and prayer and time for reflection and meditation. I have been given many reminders of this, but I am a creature of habit (a bad one in this case) and I am slow to change. Change clearly needs to happen. I am tired of running late, be cranky, being angry and stressed. This morning my three year old asked me why I am always angry. That was a punch in the gut and yet another reason to work even harder at making things right.

It is time to try something new. It is time to trust. It is time to stop thinking I can and have to do everything myself. It is a time to make time for what is truly important, which for me is my faith. Being centered in whose I am. It is time for prayer, Bible Study, meditation and reflection. This is my new focus from now until January 1st and then I will reassess on the progress. 

 

Reflections from a Tired Mom

Sleep deprivation has shown me parts of my personality I have never seen before and parts that frankly, I am not proud of. I get angry and frustrated about little things and I am not always able to stay focused in the moment. Being a mother has also magnified feelings and concepts I have struggled with my whole life. 

I have never been popular and as a kid I always worried about being accepted. Wondered if I was good enough.  I have realized as an adult that I never really out grew these feelings. I learned how to supress them and most of the time they don't bother me, but they are still there. I want help at home but than I feel inadaquete because I was not able to take care of everything by myself. I fear any mistakes at work because they will make me look like I don't have my act together, like I am not good enough at my job, like I can't handle everything. 

Being a mom and a wife has made me confront these issues. I think it is a common mom thing to feel like we have to do everything. I want to be the best mom, wife, housekeeper and professional. All at the same time. As young girls, we are told we can do and have it all. The reality is there are only 24 hours in a day. We are supposed to sleep for 8 and we work for another 8 which leaves us with 8 hours a day for family, friends and self. I don't know about you, but I expect to accomplish way more in that 8 hours than is physically possible. We can have a lot, but sometimes one area has to have lower expectations so we can accel in another area. I really struggle with this concept. 

I just finished listening to the book 'The Wisdom of Sundays' by Oprah Winfrey and one of the points that really stuck out to me was the philosophy that when we are frustrated it is because that issue causes us to feel or think something. It is not about the actual issue, it's how that issue makes us feel. I see this ring true in my life. Often when I am frustrated it is because I am feeling unappreciated. I may get upset because my daughter made a mess or my husband didn't put something away, bit that is not always the full story. 

I don't know what the anewer is but I know there is no magic bullet. I also know that self care is vital for my well being and for those around me. Being a mom and a wife have taught me many lessons. I usually learn them the hard way but I am trying to put these lessons into practice and to not continue making the same mistakes. 

- Write things down, have a system you can trust and do not rely on your brain to remember anything. 

- Look past the frustration or anger and look at the feelings and the why.

- Take control of your schedule (as a mom this has been the biggest struggle for me.)

-Reach out and talk to people. 

-Make time for yourself: pray, read the Bible, read a book, exercise, take a bath, meditate, take a nap. These are not luxuries or a sign of weakness. Take care of yourself! 

- A crazy you makes your world crazy. Control as much as you can and focus on those areas.

- You get what you focus on. 

-You are not your last mistake.

-Focus on gratitude.

-Journal, get your thoughts out of your head.

As much as I hate being told this, it is a phase, it will get better and keep breathing. 

The Other Side of the Table

Since having kids, I have always been interested and slightly worried (ok, very worried) about life on the other side of the table. I am used to being the teacher, now I have to be the parent. I find it is sometimes a hard balance. When I had my first child I was under the delusion that I had years before I would have to be the "parent" at school. I should have listened more closely when people said that the years go fast. Just like that my oldest is in preschool and we have our first round of Parent-Teacher Conferences next week!

Sometimes being a teacher makes having a conversation about my own kids easier. I get it, I live it everyday. Other times, it makes it harder. It's too easy to put myself in their situation and feel frustrated because they did not handle it the way I think they should (read: the "right" way.) My youngest has a milk protein sensitivity. I had no idea what that even meant or that it even existed until she was 5 weeks old. I had heard of being lactose intolerant, but I had never heard of a milk protein sensitivity. Thanks to Dr. Google, I quickly learned what it was and treatment options. In my daughter's case, it is simple. She eats dairy and she gets a rash on her face and has a stomach ache. The treatment is easy too. Don't eat dairy. Easy is relative though. The concept of not eating dairy is easy, the difficulty comes in when I look at food labels and realize that dairy is in a lot. It is in things that seem random (Kroger graham cracker sticks, but not in Kroger graham crackers) and not in things that I think would be logical (it took me 8 months to figure out Oreo Cookies do not contain milk. That was a great day!)

Kiddo 2 started a new daycare around the time she was eating mostly table food. This made her milk protein issue more challenging because she was eating more food. When we were signing her up for daycare, it was always the main point of emphasis. We wanted them to fully understand that she can have NO dairy. This means someone has to read EVERY food label. Her daycare assured us it would not be a problem.

I had a feeling from day one that they did not fully understand the fact that no dairy means no dairy. It does not mean no milk, ranch or cheese. It means no product that is made with milk or milk protein. Kiddo 2 did not seem to have a reaction and because I did not have any evidence (and I hate confrontation), I did not push the issue.  I hate confrontation and I don't want to accuse anyone of not doing their job. A few weeks ago Kiddo 2 managed to grab a few cheese crackers and a few days before that she snuck some cheese pizza. I was notified both times and didn't want to make anyone feel bad, so I did not make a big deal about it. Again, I am a teacher, I know mistakes happen and I know attention gets divided when kids are involved. After the pizza and cheese cracker incidents, Kiddo 2 developed a rash and it has stuck around for weeks. Which was my first piece of evidence that they were giving her food she should not be eating. After a few days of contemplation, I finally built up the nerve to talk to the director who assured me she did not think Kiddo 2 was getting anything with dairy. In my opinion, there are so many things wrong with the statement "I don't think" when it comes to dealing with allergies. I realize my daughter has a mild reaction in comparison to people who have life threatening allergies, but there is no "I think" allowed. Either she is getting food with milk or she is not getting food with milk.  There is no grey area.

This morning I was given my second piece of evidence when I saw  a teacher give her a breakfast bar. I know from experience that most breakfast bars and granola bars contain milk. I can only eat certain brands now and those are usually the expensive organic ones, which I was pretty sure the daycare was not buying. The teacher was extremely apologetic and made it seem like a simple error or not checking the label. I don't want to make anyone feel bad or point out mistakes, but my child cannot continue to be given food that gives her a stomach ache. I wrote about this experience in a short Facebook post and was given some great advice. Thank you Anne and Tori! Now I get to go from parent to teacher mode. I get to teach. I get to education her daycare about milk protein sensitivity and I get to be an advocate for my child. 

It is not easy. These are hard conversations. Being the parent has given me a view from the other side of the table and I see that both sides struggle with similar challenges. I still believe we both want the same thing. We both want the best for our kids and our students. We both want our kids to be successful. My journey to being the parent is just beginning. I have been the teacher for nine years, but this is my first year as a parent. It is a learning process and I know I will make mistakes. The focus needs to stay on our kids.

I want to believe the best of people. I want to believe that they are doing their best at their job and taking care of things. Sometimes it is hard to give this trust, but I find it is easier to believe good things are people. 

Lessons Learned: 
1. Reflect and calm down.
2. Talk it through with other people.
3. Do not let anger get in the way.
4. Do not point blame.
5. Focus on solving the problem.

*Update
My guy instincts were correct and I was presented with a list of thirteen items that my daughter has been getting on a routine basis that contain milk. I was given reasons why food was not checked earlier: they were understaffed and did not have a full time cook and although I don't think either of those reasons are a good excuse, I have tried to take this opportunity to educate others on dairy allergies.