Sleep deprivation has shown me parts of my personality I have never seen before and parts that frankly, I am not proud of. I get angry and frustrated about little things and I am not always able to stay focused in the moment. Being a mother has also magnified feelings and concepts I have struggled with my whole life.
I have never been popular and as a kid I always worried about being accepted. Wondered if I was good enough. I have realized as an adult that I never really out grew these feelings. I learned how to supress them and most of the time they don't bother me, but they are still there. I want help at home but than I feel inadaquete because I was not able to take care of everything by myself. I fear any mistakes at work because they will make me look like I don't have my act together, like I am not good enough at my job, like I can't handle everything.
Being a mom and a wife has made me confront these issues. I think it is a common mom thing to feel like we have to do everything. I want to be the best mom, wife, housekeeper and professional. All at the same time. As young girls, we are told we can do and have it all. The reality is there are only 24 hours in a day. We are supposed to sleep for 8 and we work for another 8 which leaves us with 8 hours a day for family, friends and self. I don't know about you, but I expect to accomplish way more in that 8 hours than is physically possible. We can have a lot, but sometimes one area has to have lower expectations so we can accel in another area. I really struggle with this concept.
I just finished listening to the book 'The Wisdom of Sundays' by Oprah Winfrey and one of the points that really stuck out to me was the philosophy that when we are frustrated it is because that issue causes us to feel or think something. It is not about the actual issue, it's how that issue makes us feel. I see this ring true in my life. Often when I am frustrated it is because I am feeling unappreciated. I may get upset because my daughter made a mess or my husband didn't put something away, bit that is not always the full story.
I don't know what the anewer is but I know there is no magic bullet. I also know that self care is vital for my well being and for those around me. Being a mom and a wife have taught me many lessons. I usually learn them the hard way but I am trying to put these lessons into practice and to not continue making the same mistakes.
- Write things down, have a system you can trust and do not rely on your brain to remember anything.
- Look past the frustration or anger and look at the feelings and the why.
- Take control of your schedule (as a mom this has been the biggest struggle for me.)
-Reach out and talk to people.
-Make time for yourself: pray, read the Bible, read a book, exercise, take a bath, meditate, take a nap. These are not luxuries or a sign of weakness. Take care of yourself!
- A crazy you makes your world crazy. Control as much as you can and focus on those areas.
- You get what you focus on.
-You are not your last mistake.
-Focus on gratitude.
-Journal, get your thoughts out of your head.
As much as I hate being told this, it is a phase, it will get better and keep breathing.
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