The Breakup

You know those moments that follow a breakup? The days, weeks and months that are filled with doubt, confusion and emotion. The questions...

Why was I not good enough?
Why didn't they stay?
What did I do wrong?
Why?

I find myself recovering from a breakup, but not one with a person. In May my school district and I broke up. It was a mostly peaceful split but it still took me months to come to terms with my emotions. I realize I still have issues to overcome.

Budget cuts are never fun and being a music teacher, I feel like my job is always on the line. I realize now that this experience is shading how I view issues now and that is something I am trying hard to change.

At the end of the day, it was not my performance that caused me to loose my job. I know this is a fact, but it is still tough to accept. There is still a feeling of rejection, like I was not good enough and this emotion shows up every time I have a challenging lesson. The doubts sneak in. The questions pop up.

Maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I didn't work hard enough.
Maybe I need to find a new profession.
Maybe I made too many mistakes.
Maybe I'm not meant to be a teacher or a coach. 

Maybe this is why I was riffed.
Maybe...

Rejection is never easy and I am slowly working my way through this experience.  How do you deal with rejection? Two things that have helped me are reflecting and writing in a journal. Rejection is a fact of life and I will learn from this experience and move on. It will not define me. Time to focus on the present and not dwell in the past. This year is full of great opportunities with a new district.