Missing Out

It has been a slow process but I have finally learned a life changing lesson.  

I will always be missing out on something.

Due to my husband's work schedule and his Masters Program, taking care of the kiddos and our house has mostly fallen onto my shoulders.  A few weeks ago he offered to take Kiddo 1 to the Children's Museum, but we had not been there before and I did not want to miss that experience with her. Everyday it feels like I have to choose between spending time with my family and getting school work done.  At the end of the day, I don't want to miss experiences and memories with my kids. So, I pile more things on my plate and I sacrifice sleep in an attempt to get everything done.  For months now, I was convinced that if I just figured out how to do this working mom thing better my life would be easier.  I just needed to figure out a better schedule or be more organized or not sleep as much.  Last night was a moment of clarity for me.

I will always be missing out on something.

Once again (for the third night this week), my husband had a school event, so entertaining the kiddos was all on me.  At times I feel jealous that he gets to be out of the house.  I know he has work, but sometimes I would love to have time to get work done and not feel rushed or be on a time limit. For me, time to get work done and not feel rushed is fleeting and I envy that he has so much more of it than I do.

Last night was honestly one of the best Friday nights I remember in a long time.  Pick up did not go as quickly as I would have liked so we scratched going to the library and headed straight home.  Kiddo 1 and I started our Friday Fun by making a blanket tent in the play room. We have made tents in living room and in her bedroom, but never in this location.  It was something new and fun and she was very excited about it. She loved clipping the clothes pins everywhere. We made homemade pizza for dinner and Kiddo 1 had a blast putting hand fulls of cheese on her pizza and spicies (pepperoni) on mine. After dinner we made popcorn and she insisted on putting the corn into the popper by the handful.  We played Disney Yahtzee and ate our popcorn inside the tent. I was impressed she lasted twenty minutes playing a board game.  We "played" with Kiddo 2, called Nanna, had ice cream for snack, watched Tube (YouTube) and went to bed without much of a fight.  Kiddos and I were all asleep by the time my husband got home.

I know there is nothing special about any of these activities, but they are wonderful memories that I have with my kids.  I have these memories and my husband misses out because he is at work.  Yes, there are times I would love to be in my classroom working or to go grocery shopping without wrangling 2 kids, but last night showed me that these moments are important. 

 I will always be missing out on something.

Sleep, time for myself, time for my family, time to get work done or time to clean.  Something will always be left undone.  It's up to me to pick which tasks get my energy.  There will always be something left on my list.  I will never be completely done.

I will always be missing out on something.